Shotguns, WiFi, and Nutella
by mollipwarriorchic
Summary: Batman's protege, a cybernetic powerhouse, daughter of the devil, an alien delinquent, and a shape shifter. The perfect team for a zombie apocalypse. Will they live? Or will they die with the rest of us? BB/Rae, Rob/Star, and Cy/Borg. An experiment.


Chapter 1

"Crap. Crap. Crappity Crap Crap…"muttered Robin as he backed into the cement wall. Zombies trudged over to the five teens. It was one of the many moments that they wondered how the hell they got into this mess.

* * *

It was an average day. Robin was at the computer, Cyborg and Beast Boy were playing video games, Raven was levitating above the couch holding a book, and Starfire was cooking some strange dish.

"I'm kickin' yo ass Grass Stain!" gloated Cyborg, lightly pressing his buttons. It was a leisurely game for him. Cyborg was the brains of the Titans. He was the tech guy, the one who they'd call if their technology was broken. He was brotherly to all of the Titans, especially the girls. He threatened to murder his male counterparts if they even made the girls frown.

"Shut up! I'm right on your tail dude!" He threatened, mashing his buttons and sweating. He had already broken two controllers from his video game exertions. And Cyborg ate it up like…whatever you like to eat. Beast Boy was the stereotypical youngest joker. He was slightly immature, but he made up for it in likability. The one of the only comic relief characters, no matter how hard you tried, you couldn't hate him.

"I've already overlapped you Green Bean, that's why you're so close." He smirked, crossing the finish line. Beast Boy melted at that, fuming and bitching about cheating and such. It was truly annoying. Consider yourself lucky you weren't there. And Raven was sick of it. She slammed her book shut.

"Look Beast Boy; you lost. Deal with it like a man." Beast Boy gave her a cheeky glare.

"You think I'm a man?" Raven rolled her eyes. Raven was the sarcastic goth chick. She was actually a pretty cool girl, but she is sadly the most abused character in fan-fictions. Although she had a prickly exterior, she was a peach on the inside.

"Four more years Beast Boy. Four more years…" He blushed and turned away.

"Would anybody like to try my freshly squeezed nuglekuss?" The 'nuglekuss' was a periwinkle soup. It was served in a strange bowl that was shaped like an elephant mixed with an Easter egg. The Titan's eyes went wide and they all shook their heads in unison. The last time one of them (Beast Boy) tried a Tamaranian dish; he ended up in the infirmary. Starfire, on the other hand, was orange. She was very nice and polite and formal. She had a giant-mega-epic crush on the leader, Robin.

"No thanks Star. But guys, come over here." Ordered Robin. He was sitting at the computer, clenching his chin in thought. Robin only thought about one thing: Slade. Slade Slade Slade Slade Slade. He also cared about his hair, but that was a whole different story. He was Batman's apprentice and Bruce Wayne's son. That's right. He was Dick Grayson. The four Titans made their way over to the computer.

"What is it, Robin. I was in the middle of Rorek's spaghettification…" complained Raven, glowering at the back of Robin's head. Raven didn't hate Robin, per se. She hated all of the jerk things he did, of course, but she didn't hate him. They were actually pretty close friends. They were even shipped together

"Read this article." Robin swivel-chaired out of the way, allowing his friends to see the computer screen. They squinted, leant forward, and turned their heads.

"Damn…are Miley Cyrus' shorts really that short-" Cyborg read.

"No no no Cy; over there!" Robin directed his face over to the article.

"Five scientific reasons the zombie apocalypse might actually happen?" read Raven with disdain.

"Is this that Cracked website or something?" Beast Boy asked, staring up at the search bar.

"C'mon Rob, you know the zombie apocalypse will never happen." Cyborg chided jokingly.

"Please…this 'zombie apocalypse' is?" asked Starfire.

"The zombie apocalypse is the way the world will definitely end, Starfire," began Beast Boy. "One day, zombie will invade earth. The streets will be filled with them, and the only way to destroy them will be to fight them to the death!" The Titans glowered at him.

"Where'd you get that? The Internet?" Raven quipped, looking at Beast Boy.

"Where else would I get it?"

"Pay attention guys! Read it!" barked Robin, pointing to the screen.

"Brain parasites, truly?" Starfire asked, grabbing her hair in fear. Robin looked at her with amusement on his face, a small smile full of adoration.

"Yo Rob! Pay attention!" Cyborg grabbed his head and turned it to the screen, a giant smirk on his face.

"Dudes! Neurotoxins are dangerous, aren't they?" Beast Boy massaged his temples.

"Of course Beast Boy. Do they sound friendly?" Raven rolled her eyes and Beast Boy scowled.

"Hey! Some things are dangerous and sound nice! Like…reality TV." They could tell he was joking, but it really wasn't the time.

"Shut up Beast Boy."

"The Real Rage Virus? Ain't that from that movie?" Cyborg chuckled.

"This is bogus." Complained Beast Boy, closing the browser.

"Friends…it could happen…" Started Starfire, looking at Robin for help. He just shook his head.

"Naw Star, it's actually pretty farfetched." Robin ran a hand through his hair. Starfire watched with disturbing interest.

"Anyways; y'all want to go out for some pizza?" Cyborg asked, spinning the keys around his finger. The Titans smiled and nodded.

"I could go for some pizza right now, actually." Robin smiled, taking the keys to his R-Cycle out. He looked at Starfire, who was already bouncing with joy.

"DU-U-UDE! Shotgun!" Beast Boy yelled, waving his hand in the air like a kindergartener on acid. Cyborg grabbed his hand and pushed it down.

"Hell no! Remember last time-"

"It was an accident, dude!" Beast Boy deflected the retelling of the story. The 'story' happened one day when Cyborg was feeling very generous. He smiled when Beast Boy asked, nodded when he asked, and opened the passenger door to let him in. Beast Boy jumped into the seat, forgetting entirely of the tofu in his belt. Since they were in California, and there were leather slips in the car, something was bound to melt. And what melted was the tofu onto Cyborg's seats. He was so pissed off, it was scary.

"An accident that cost forty-two ninety five!" He yelled.

"Guys! Let's go! We're burning daylight!" Robin called. The rest of the Titans were standing over by the door, waiting in annoyance for the two bantering testosterone junkies.

"Sorry. We're coming." Cyborg hung his head as he walked over to the door. Beast Boy followed. As they stepped out the door, they didn't notice the green, fleshy hand crawling out from under the couch.

* * *

_You've got to love the zombie apocalypse. Review and Favorite. Grammar Nazis and Flamers welcome. _


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